Well..

I chose to make this blog to track my personal progress and stuffs.

I have had ED around me since I was 12, and now I am 30. My shit has shifted from bulimia, to over eating, and now back to restricting.

I am severely overweight, thank you to having 3 kids within 3 years, and then getting all emo and then just replacing my need of love with food. Common thing, especially here in the states.

Everywhere you look, things are being celebrated with food. Got a new promotion, here is some cake! Oh, its your birthday, here is some cake! Oh, you graduated, cake! Oh you have new baby on zee way, cake! Everything in our society, ever achievement is rewarded with food. No wonder I had no self control, plus I am a huge sugar addict!

Anyways, so during my past 9 years of my life, I have studied holistic nutrition, low carb diets, no bread diets, and I have even gone off of milk products, not much really worked, because I was still eating. I learned a lot about supplements, and vitamins during my studies in Holistic Nutrition, everything I have done, was self-taught, and I actually pride myself in that.

I got into holistic nutrition because my kid was allergic to soy, and eggs. I learned how to cook without those two ingredients, including how to bake as well.

I would like to also add, during this time, I also recovered from my short term addiction to meth. I was led to meth, because of my ED, and it did help me lose weight, but it also helped me lose my mind a lot faster than anything else. So for that reason, I will not, can not go back to that. If there were a devil, meth would be her name.

A few days ago, I got tired of suppressing my feelings and emotions with food. The food got hella boring, and I was just done not having self-control. I am also choosing to go back to school for a bachelors and a masters eventually. I figure I might as fucking well!

Anyways, so right now I am not sharing many stats, I honestly need to get a scale. I have not owned a scale in years, because I really thought, that if i got rid of my scale, then I would magically recover! Turns out, I feel so out of control with my life. I have no one to love, and i love being in love. My children are not with me right meow (I chose them to be with their father). I am not really stable, and I would love to upgrade my life in such a way that I have more physical stability, and financial stability, no matter what!

I actually believe my weight has a lot to do with my level of success.

Anyways, so welcome to my fucked up life!

Love <3

SinxLovex